Tag: John Deacon

What I Wonder About Queen

The Band as a Whole

Queen

Did the guys give Freddie shit about what he wore on stage? How did Freddie respond? In the commentary of Montreal 1981, Roger says he always laughed when Freddie wore shorts on stage. Brian said he just didn’t know what to say about them. Did they tease like boys? Did they tell Freddie his dick was going to fall out of the white shorts and maybe he should wear underwear? Did they tell him the first five rows could see his dick even when it hasn’t fallen out? Did Freddie laugh his ass off and say, “I don’t give a fuck, dear.”

Looking at the masses of photos they modeled for, did they get sick of it all? They look great and relaxed in almost all of them. How did they tolerate that crazy boring part of being stars? When someone said, “You have a photo shoot in two hours,” did they moan and groan about having to get dressed again, to model, again. Did they just take it in stride? What was the worst part of the job of Queen? If I had to pick what would drive me crazy would be photo sessions, mostly because I do not always feel pretty enough to be photographed 24/7. If you are a Queen member, do you just see it as a normal part of your day?

What did they snort coke with? Fingernails? (As Roger simulates in “One Vision.” at 4:43) $100 bills? Silver or gold spoons? Was “Killer Queen” really about snorting coke?

I really don’t care much about the other drugs they might have done.

I know they drank cases of Moët, but what about wine? What was each of their favorite wines? They drink/drank lots of whisky; what is/was their favorite? Are any of them considered alcoholics? Have they ever tried not drinking?

When it came to lyrics, did they see who could use the most complex word? Was it a contest to see who could have the most creative lyrics? I think about their Scrabble games and how competitive they were making words; did that translate to writing songs as well?

John Deacon

John Deacon

Does John ever listen to his famous bass riffs and smile? Does he listen to other bassists fawn over his music? Does John ever miss performing? Does he pick up his bass at home and play? Even all by himself? Does he have a collection of his basses in the house?

When John wrote, “I Want to Break Free,” had he been having an affair and wanted out of his marriage? How did he fix his marriage so they are still together after 48 years?

Did John have fun when he was in the band? Does he have good memories? Is he happy now? I really hope he has had a wonderful life. Such a gentle soul.

Brian May

Brian May

Did Brian snort coke like the others? With the others? He has said he did not do any drugs. Did he worry about his 180 IQ? How did he avoid all that with the other three around him doing drugs?

Was Brian the guy who was the furthest out of the circle? People think it was John, but Brian dealt with depression. Was part of that his isolation from not partying like the others? Or did he and he just has kept his secrets tighter than the others.

Did the guys know Brian suffered from depression? Did Brian ever tell any of them when he was having a hard time? I would imagine he told Roger when he went into the treatment center in 1997. Did he tell John? Was his stint in Arizona before or after they filmed “No One But You (Only The Good Die Young)“?

Is Brian happy? It’s as if I can see the pain in his eyes on IG and YouTube sometimes. He does speak about his on and off again difficulties. Are they as painful as in the past when he needed a lot of help to get balanced again? I can relate to Brian so much and my heart hurts feeling those same types of emotions… and that he might feel something similar… I wish better for both of us.

On a more humorous note, did the guys tell Brian not use such big words except when he was playing Scrabble? (Even then, Roger never forgave Bri for getting the highest score for one word – 168 points. Bri, used all his letters on a triple word score, spelling “lacquers.” Roger spits, “Bastard!” in the video.)

Freddie Mercury

Freddie Mercury

Freddie had a fun life. I don’t even question that. Did he love his time in the band, too? I can’t imagine he would not have since he stayed and was a major proponent of the band staying together.

Freddie seemed like he loved his life. Listening to some of his songs, he also felt sad deeply… longingly… at times. He really did seem otherworldly. That had to have been difficult sometimes/a lot. Did he ever wish for something different? More anonymity? What was it like in his mind? Was he always thinking in song?

Did anyone in the band not visit Freddie at the end and hurt his feelings? What did Freddie think? Did Freddie ever wonder where he got AIDS? Did he care? Did he cry when he got the diagnosis? Did he have other friends with AIDS to talk to?

He loved Mary. Full stop.

Roger Taylor

Roger Taylor

Did Roger ever get any Sexually Transmitted Infections from his dalliances? Are there Roger babies running around all over the world? Does he know about them? Does he take care of them? Does he visit them? How could he not have any other kids?

Roger is snarky and sarcastic and incredibly dryly funny. I didn’t like Roger for a long time (despite finding him yummingly attractive) until I heard some of his songs that illustrated his heart better than any interview ever did.

“Surrender” is a song about domestic violence… one I can relate to because of my client who was killed by her estranged husband.

You can’t hurt me now, I’m gone from you
You can’t hurt me now
You can’t hurt me now
You can’t reach me where I’ve gone to
I surrender

And “Foreign Sand”

Why do we fear what we don’t understand
Can’t we reach out our hands to try to just say hello
Try to plant a seed, fulfill the need
To make it grow, just say hello

Someone without a heart does not write lyrics like that. Now I would have Roger’s baby.

So Many Thoughts

I am sure I have more questions, but these are ones that have been floating around in my head. It feels good to have written them down. Doubtful I will ever get any answers, but the questions are now out in the Universe. Float around, question marks!

Queen Questions

Listen Up! The Joy of John Deacon’s Bass

It’s always been difficult for me to hear the bass line of any music, including Queen’s. I often heard about Deacy’s (Deek-ee) skills, but unless he was playing without the band, I just could not hear him.

John Deacon Bass

Until Today

This morning, I put on headphones and turned Queen videos on YouTube and, amazingly, I could, all of a sudden, hear Deacy’s bass lines! Shocked, I listened to the next song, then the next. There it was again. Did I just need headphones on all this time? 

But I’d listened with headphones before, yet the bass never popped out like it did this morning.

Focus

For song after song, I concentrated to hear the bass John was playing, all but ignoring Freddie, Roger, and Brian, wanting to hear, finally, what I had been missing for far too long.

I am in heaven!

Amazing Listen

Below is Charles Berthoud playing Deacy’s most famous bass creation and one every new bass player learns first. This is  1:33 minutes long, but will move you to tears with its beauty and connection.

Thanks, John!

How Have I Lived Without Dolls?

There have been no dolls in the house since the kids were little and even then, I don’t remember playing with them, making them listen and talk. The last time I remember playing with dolls was with Barbie Dolls. I was about eight before I was “too old” for them.

Queen Funkos Are the Bomb

I am having the best time with my Funko Deacy (John), Freddie, and Brian. I’m still waiting for party-boy Roger to arrive. I talk to them all the time. It’s so funny how easy they are to talk to. Avid listeners, they hold their instruments and Freddie has a grip on his mic. I squint and wonder if Freddie is going to hold his microphone out for me to speak into. He’s not remembering that what I share is kind of private.

(I am so crazy.)

Queen Funkos
John Deacon, Freddie Mercury, Brian May – Queen Funkos

Writing as Dolls

I have kept journals for decades and suppose I talk to the pages as I am to the dolls, but something feels different. I get up to grab a Diet Coke and ask the boys (for they were boys then; ask Bri) to make sure no one takes my seat. Or I ask them to monitor the phone and let me know if I’m getting a call. I’ve never done that with writing.

With writing, I am talking to myself and then answering myself. In writing, it’s more introspection – just like here in the blog.

Would writing as dolls be all dialogue? Would I ask, then answer?

It seems quicker to just yack with the boys.

Sing for me, Barbie!

Thanks to Brian May & Roger Taylor

A quick note of thanks to Bri and Rog for keeping their mouths and fingers shut about what happened behind the scenes with Queen, Freddie Mercury, John Deacon, and their own foibles.

What we saw in the movie Bohemian Rhapsody was not only fairly public information, it was also a consolidation of events created for dramatic effect. That was fine by me.

Brian May has been open about his own mental health issues (and Goddess love him for it, too!) and his life as an astrophysicist, but he has been delightfully silent about the inner workings of Queen.

While there are snippets of arguments online and Roger and Brian have talked about their own head-knocking behaviors together, generally, very little is known about what went on amongst all of them.

I don’t expect any tell-all books after the remaining three from Queen are gone, either. They all respect each others’ privacy too much.

It makes me weep with gratitude they love and care about each other that much.

Too many others can’t wait to blab their dirty laundry.

Queen has class.

Queen

Old Rock Stars

The Rolling Stones

When I saw the Rolling Stones in 1981, Mick Jagger was 38 years old. I was 20 and he seemed ancient. I remember our saying, “Look how old they are!” They had been out for 19 years by then and that seemed forever, especially since I was born a year before they began in 1962.

Rolling Stones 1962
Getty Images

The Stones just finished touring Europe as a celebration for their 60th year together.

Mick Jagger is 78 years old. Keith Richards is also 78, and Ron Wood is 75.

Rolling Stones 2022

For fuck’s sake, they are more spry than I could ever hope to be! Especially considering the lifestyle they all participated in for a few decades.

Queen

When Queen began in 1970 (I was 9 years old), Freddie Mercury was 24, Brian May was 23, Roger Taylor was 21 years old , and John Deacon was the youngest at 19 years old.

Queen 1970

Brian May is now 75 years old and Roger Taylor is 73 years old. John Deacon is now a mere 71 years old. (I will have no older pics of Deacy than from 1997 because that is when he retired from public life and I want to respect that.)

Brian May at 23
Brian May at 23 years old.

Brian May
Brian May at about 75 years old.

Roger Taylor early 1970s
Roger Taylor early 1970s.

Roger Taylor early 70 years old.
Roger Taylor early 70 years old. (And still yummy as ever.)

John Deacon 197s
Array of John Deacon pics over the years.

John Deacon 1997
John Deacon 1997 at 46 years old.

And of course, our precious Freddie Mercury died at the incredibly young age of 45.

Freddie at 24
Freddie Mercury at 24.

Freddie at 42
Freddie at 42 years old.

Queen is now Roger Taylor and Brian May and they are still performing in 2022.

My (NSH) Thoughts on Older Bands Touring

Because I heard the crowd of people around me, and thinking it myself when I was younger, I thought older bands should just stop presenting themselves on stage. I thought they were old farts and why not just go away for the newer bands like Van Halen and Styx. Little did I know Van Halen would end up touring for 43 years and Styx would still be on the road 52 years later.

Who cares if they have to spread their gig dates out. Who cares if Roger Taylor isn’t as fast on the drums as he used to be. Who cares that health challenges crop up and tour dates have to be adjusted.

They are out there. They are fucking out there.

And that means the world to me.

Van Halen 1972
Michael Anthony, Alex and Eddie Van Halen, David Lee Roth in 1972.

Van Halen 2015

Wolfie, Eddie, and Alex Van Halen in 2015.

Who Is Still Out There?

What amuses me from this 61-year old vantage point is how many bands I saw way back in the day that are or have toured for 40+ years.

  • Queen – formed in 1970
  • Aerosmith – formed in 1970
  • Styx – formed in 1970
  • Eagles – formed in 1971
  • Van Halen – formed in 1972
  • Def Leppard – formed in 1977

I would pay giant bucks to see any of them again. They were all amazing.

Why Not?

So why shouldn’t they be out kicking ass in their 70s? Fuck growing old!

It’s an attitude I am working hard to adopt.

Even More Bands Out on Tours

These bands (and the year they were formed) have been out on tour for over 40, and some even 50, years.

  • Blue Oyster Cult – 1967
  • The Doobie Brothers – 1970
  • KISS – 1973
  • Blondie – 1974
  • Iron Maiden – 1975
  • U2 – 1978
  • The Cure – 1978
  • Metallica – 1981
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers – 1983

Go On, You Bad Asses!

Note: I got edited by YouTube! The video I had up was taken down. I have arrived!

Rabbit Hole: Track 13

For some odd reason, like I hear from several others, I fell down the YouTube rabbit hole. 

From the COVID Years, Back to Life

I was in a 2.5 year funk during the COVID years. Depression, fear, and anxiety is a more accurate description.

As I came out of this period of advanced mourning, I wondered why I had not worked on the four books I have had in the works for several years I was horrified when I looked back and saw the last time I’d put 10 words on the page.

Watching YouTube was not a conscious thing, but the rabbit hole led me to Queen.

Re-Fallen in Love With Queen

I have re-fallen in love with Queen… Freddie Mercury, Brian May, Roger Taylor, and John Deacon.

Queen
Roger Taylor, John Deacon, Freddie Mercury, Brian May

I first discovered them when I was 14 with A Night at the Opera and “Bohemian Rhapsody.” I danced around the living room with the speakers blasting as I acted out the song. I know every note’s rise and fall. I called BJ105 requesting it several times a day to make sure it was the number one requested song of that day. It was. For a lot of weeks.

I can sing “The Prophet’s Song” still. “You’re My Best Friend” was played whenever my group of girlfriends got together. Watching “Love of My Life” on YouTube transports me back to those teen years.

1978 Queen Concert

I was blessed to see Queen at Lakeland Civic Center on November 4, 1978 when I was 17-years old.

I remember a lot, but mostly I remember how the audience in the Arena stomp stomp clapped for at least 30 minutes before Queen even took the stage. I can feel the reverberations still, 44 years later. (The bleachers were made of wood back then so the stomping really kicked ass!)

But I did not know so much about the intricacies of the band and how their music was created. While I know a bit more now, I am still learning and they are freakin’ geniuses, including Dr. Brian May, an astrophysicist, who started towards his degree in 1971 and received it in 2007 at the age of 60.

Dr. Brian May
Dr. Brian May

Fascination Turns to Inspiration

So, in listening to Queen for a few weeks, watching interviews they have done, studied the 30-years-later thoughts and memories Brian May and Roger Taylor share (John Deacon retains his privacy… it has been said he took Freddie’s death quite hard), I am moved by their tenacity to continue performing in their 70s when they started singing together in the 70s!

Brian May Roger Taylor
Brian May & Roger Taylor

As I learned more, I wanted to know more and began listening to their albums, in order of their release. I have found real gems – Sheer Heart Attack and News of the World, for sure, and then others that didn’t resonate so much.

I replayed their Greatest Hits albums, too. I owned several as a teen/young adult, so I was traveling down familiar territory.

With each step I grew stronger, still not aware of my destination.

Queen Greatest Hits
I will confess that even back then, I had a major crush on Roger Taylor. It wasn’t until now that I realized how I was one of millions.

Then Finally Comes Made in Heaven

I came to the end of the discography list with Made in Heaven, the album that was released 4 years after Freddie’s death, culling together pieces-parts of lines, verses, singing-thoughts Freddie sang near the end of his life.

Queen Made in Heaven Sunrise
Queen: Made in Heaven Sunrise

Freddie said to his friends and bandmates, “Get me to sing anything, write me anything and I will sing it and I will leave you as much as I possibly can.” He knew and welcomed they would finish his work after he was gone.

How fucking powerful was his urge to perform even as he was so close to dying?

I got chills and a soaring inspiration from that artistic ethic.

I wanted to make it mine.

Queen Made in Heaven Sunset
Queen: Made in Heaven Sunset

Exquisite Music/Exquisite Ponderings

Excerpts from the song “Made in Heaven“:

“I’m taking my ride with destiny
Willing to play my part
Living with painful memories
Loving with all my heart”

“Made in heaven
I’m playing my role in history
Looking to find my goal
Taking in all this misery
But giving it all my soul”

Track 13

Track 13 is the 13th song on the album, but has no name, although some call it “Ascension.” It is formally known as “Track 13” or just “13.” Ascension comes from the image of Freddie rising to his greatest heights after death: Heaven, Nirvana, the Great Rock and Roll Band in the Sky.

Queen Track 13

Queen’s Meditation

I am used to meditating/pondering to Pink Floyd, but to Queen? Not so much. They do have wondrous lyrics to consider as one considers poetry or art, but for me, meditating is another art form altogether.

But Track 13 is amazing for meditation. 22:32 minutes long and only a few interjections by Freddie’s words: “Are you running?” and the last word, “Fab!”

“Are You Running?”

Freddie Mercury
Freddie Mercury

“Are you running?” might seem an odd thing to put in a meditative song, but it seems a directive to me. Am I running as fast as I can so I can get to the finish line accomplished and complete? Am I running as fast as I need to to complete at least one of these books before my demise?

The answers are no, but I am fixing that now.

Who Knew Queen Would Kickstart My Writing?

I never expected this outcome when I watched that first Disney World YouTube video. I berated myself for not writing and spending hours a day watching video after video. For weeks.

The choices winnowed their way down to Queen, pre- and post-Freddie Mercury. I love Brian May’s and Roger Taylor’s solo works, too. (If you have not listened, do so!)

I watched Bohemian Rhapsody a dozen times, squinting trying to see what was just out of my range of vision.

And then it clicked.

“Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now!”

I wrote for a three hours yesterday and it was a joy. Made in Heaven and Track 13 on a loop played in the headphones, urging me on.

Every time Freddie said, “Fab!” I knew he was saying it to me. “Fabulous! Keep going!”

I woke up at 4am this morning, eager to get writing, putting the headphones on and tap, tap, tapping, hearing the stomp, stomp, clap of  “We Are the Champions.” I wrote for three hours again and feel the urge to write more after this post. 

I Will Rock Me

Of the hundreds of ways I’ve tried to get myself writing again, I am thrilled it was Queen that pushed me to get on it already. Goddess bless that Freddie Mercury with his endless desire to be heard and seen. I am soaking that up and spilling it out my fingers.

Watch out world!